When Julie Legg was diagnosed with ADHD in her early 50s, many of her personal challenges made sense.
She shares her own story, alongside those of other Kiwi women, in a new book called The Missing Piece.
Julie Legg, ADHD advocate and author of The Missing Piece. Photo: Supplied
While ADHD gets "a bit of a bad rap" as a medical condition, Julie says, those navigating its challenges also have some real strengths to offer.
"We have empathy and resilience. We're brilliant in a crisis, we'll just do it. We work really, really well to deadlines. We're very creative individuals, as well. We just think in a non-linear fashion," she tells Kathryn Ryan.
Julie didn't know much about ADHD until she started exploring ASD (high-functioning autism spectrum disorder) after a family member received that diagnosis.
"Almost accidentally, I discovered ADHD and looking at those traits and how they manifest was just absolute flashing lights for me, I really resonated with all of them and it was incredible.
"I thought that I really should get a diagnosis of my own - for my children's sake, for friends and family to understand me, but most of all, for me to understand me."
There are two ways to seek a diagnosis of ADHD in Aotearoa, Julie says, via a clinical psychologist or via a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication.
She decided to go with a clinical psychologist because there was a shorter waiting list and she also didn't want to take the stimulant medication commonly prescribed.
"I'm a bit of a stubborn mule. I have barraged my way through life. I've had a lovely, lovely life. It's been adventurous and fun, not without these ADHD traits that have tripped me up often, but regardless I've barraged my way through.
"I thought if I've made it this far, I would really like to see if I could navigate my way after diagnosis also without medication ... Somehow I've made it this far and I'd like to discover my own strategies to move forward and have a better life without reliance on medication."
In her largely rural and "very happy" childhood, including a period living without electricity on Kawau Island, Julie wasn't aware of being especially inattentive or impulsive.
"I think that environment really suited me well. There was always something to do. While there wasn't electricity, and therefore no television, for example, I just let my mind go wild so there was never a dull moment."
Returning to the mainland, and despite being a "friendly upbeat kind of individual", Julie struggled to make friends.
'I've been quite independent, which was my coping mechanism, I guess, for finding a way to make sense of not fitting in ... I was not afraid of being alone, I got used to being alone, yet able to socialize at the same time. So I became my own walking contradiction in a way.
"I could be very social, and then at times be very withdrawn and quiet because I was unsure if I was going to blurt out or say something inappropriate.
"You learn at a very young age that not only do you feel or think differently, it's actually being reinforced by society. So as you grow - I'm speaking for myself personally here but [this is] also reflected on the stories from the other women - you kind of rub a little bit gingerly, sort of testing the waters to see if this is socially acceptable or peer groups are going to pull you up on that."
The art of "masking" their true selves to fit in gets people with ADHD through many situations, Julie says, but also dilutes the positive traits.
"Suddenly you wake up going 'Crikey, I'm a shell of my former self, what happened?' And it's a bit of a wake-up call to understand yourself, and then try and be yourself without giving yourself a hard time.
"We do it to try and tone ourselves down, to try and minimise the traits that we think are shining so brightly in a negative fashion.
"Unmasking" requires a person with ADHD to brave the very vulnerable state of literally being themselves, Julie says.
"The only time, really, we feel comfortable to do that is with those that we know won't judge us, and then we are the most fun, creative, entertaining bunch of folk you'll ever meet.
"This unmasking, it takes bravery and it takes some understanding from others that when we over talk or interrupt when we're not being rude, I'm sorry. It's just how we are. And we will learn that that might offend some people and maybe we can tailor our ways but not hide and mask all of them."
Since leaving school at 16, Julie has had many different jobs, including owning a business, acting, blogging and photography. This constant movement she puts down to her attentional challenges.
"The dopamine hits of starting a new job, hitting the ground running, moving mountains, doing fabulous things, and then leaving with a pat on the back before the monotony sets in, that's been my life."
For Julie and the other women in the book, an ADHD diagnosis presents an opportunity for better self-understanding and self-care.
"Why do I react that way? Why do I find this environment overwhelming? You can start actually mapping your own strategies of how to manage your life better, along with the help of ADHD coaches or counsellors."
For those who receive the diagnosis, she says there is a lot to consider.
"Do I tell my workmates? Do I tell my bosses? Do I tell my friends and family? Do I change my job? Do I have a look to see what might suit my positive traits and harness those instead of hindering or hiding them?"
Julie hopes her book will raise awareness and understanding of adult ADHD, particularly how it affects people's working lives.
"I think workplaces have got a bit more work to do. When they look at health and wellbeing and diversity, I think ADHD also needs room for discussion. [It's about discovering] how to harness the best out of employees, rather than stifle them. When you're in a happy place, you're more likely to stay so it's a win-win, really."
