The government is causing more harm with its plan to limit the number of people who can attend the national apology for abuse in state care, survivors say.
Just last week the coalition was being praised for agreeing to cover travel costs for survivors heading to the apology in Wellington, after RNZ revealed in July many had to cover their own costs to see the Royal Commission of Inquiry report tabled in Parliament.
But only 180 people would be able to witness it in person in Parliament on 12 November and just over 1500 would be able watch it on screen at official events in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch.
Hanz Freller, who was groomed and abused by Brother Bernard McGrath for three years in the government-supported Hebron Trust, said limiting the number who could be at the apology was absurd.
"You've had hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands, of people coming forward and now you're saying only 1700 people can come and listen to the apology across all venues. It seems to be a bit of a slap in the face to be honest," Freller told RNZ.
More than 3800 people registered their interest with the Royal Commission of Inquiry and more than 2300 survivors gave evidence as well as almost 500 whānau, advocates, experts leaders, former staff and others.
But the final report estimated more than 200,000 people suffered abuse and neglect in state or faith-based care from 1950 until 2019.
Freller said the government seemed more concerned about getting the apology out of the way and its venue being convenient for the politicians, rather than expressing genuine remorse.
"Why have it in a space that only allows for 300 people. You might get 300 people just from Wellington what about everyone else that wants to turn up from outside of town to be there for this historic apology? They don't get a chance.
"Then they have a ballot system - 'well if you miss out, you miss out, sorry'. It just seems bullshit."
The apology felt rushed and came before meaningful action to offer redress to survivors, Freller said.
He and others wanted to see action which showed contrition, not just words.
In a statement, the minister leading the government's response, Erica Stanford, said survivors made it clear "Parliament is the preferred venue for the apology to be made due to its significance and status in New Zealand".
She also pointed to the exact wording of the commissioners' second recommendation: "The Prime Minister should make a national apology for historical abuse and neglect in the care of the State (both direct and indirectly) in the House of Representatives".
However, House rules allowed it to sit outside of the buildings of Parliament.
Tu Chapman said she was among survivors who gave feedback on how the apology should work.
"At no point in that consultation did I mention that we should have the apology inside Parliament," she said.
"We were of the assumption that it would either be on the forecourt or held at another venue that could cater for the survivors to be in one room, in one space on the same day together."
It felt like the decision was primarily motivated by money, not what is right, and that was a bad omen for the government's intentions towards redress for survivors, Chapman said.
The government was inflicting more pain through its decisions, Chapman said.
"This is pitting survivors against survivors as well.
"A lot of us that have been in leadership roles and advocacy roles and representation roles on behalf of survivors, what we have been trying to do is bring survivors to a collective understanding and into one space so we can all be one together. Doing this just creates a disconnection and it creates more harm."
Chapman was also concerned at the small timeframe for survivors to register their interest in attending the apology.
Registrations opened last week and closed at the end of the month.
Grant West organised a petition calling for the inquiry into historical abuse after suffering sexual, psychological and physical violence at the hands of the state and churches.
But he lived in Australia and as a result was not eligible for assistance to travel for the national apology.
"The government put out there that they would pay for accommodation and travel for survivors to be a part of the apology ... but I got an email back stating that they will not help survivors overseas. Which is another form of abuse as far as I'm concerned."
West agreed the apology was coming too early and should follow meaningful action by the government to right the wrongs of the past.
Stanford said the government was estimating it would spend $1.5 million to help survivors travel to apology events.
In Parliament's gallery 180 people would be able to witness the apology in person, while 120 more could be accommodated in Parliament's Banquet Hall, she said.
There was room for 400 at the Christchurch livestream and 500 at each of the livestreams in Auckland and Wellington.
As of Monday morning, 160 people had registered for the apology event at Parliament and 145 had registered for other locations.
"Survivors who do not attend an apology event will also be able to access the apology livestream online," Stanford said.
"I understand there may also be community groups or NGOs intending to hold events on the day of the apology. Survivors who reside outside of Aotearoa will be able to access the apology online."
This was not a unique feature established for the apology as Parliament could be streamed at all times the House was sitting.