Journalist and wheelchair user Olivia Shivas chatted to fellow Kiwis with disabilities about being asked outrageous questions and life in general. She's now the editor of The D*List magazine. Photo: Stephanie Soh Lavemaau
When they meet someone with a visible disability for the first time, people often enquire about what happened.
How that question is received, says journalist and wheelchair user Olivia Shivas, will depend on the individual.
"For some people how they became disabled is quite traumatic so it probably is not a wise idea to [ask] that. But for some people, they're really passionate about educating non-disabled people about disability, so they may be more open to it.
"My advice is get to know the person first and then the other bits of the puzzle in terms of why they're disabled will fall into place."
In the podcast What's Wrong With You?, Shivas and two friends chat to Kiwis with disabilities about the outrageous questions they've been asked.
In her case, that has included people on the street asking if they could pray for her healing and "forcing" help.
This pitying and "paternalistic" view of people with disabilities needs an urgent update, Shivas says.
Since 2023, she's been helping to stamp out stereotypes as editor of The D*List - a storytelling hub for members of Aotearoa's disability community.
As the first New Zealand publication created by and for disabled people, The D*List is a place to connect, share ideas and advice and express "disability joy" and "disability rage", Shivas says.
For the many Kiwis living with a disability who feel isolated, it's a great comfort to read first-person stories about topics like dating and having a love/hate relationship with your teacher aide.
"We're on a mission to celebrate disability storytelling and creativity and community."
At their new physical space in the Auckland suburb of Kingsland, D*Listers now have the opportunity to connect face-to-face, Shivas says.
"Having a space for disabled people that's not associated with a service provider - which is often how disabled people gather - is actually really cool."
In this episode of the D*List video series Clickbait & Crutches, Laura (a graphic designer who lives with OCD) and Ethan (an editor who lives with autism) chat about finding community online:
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