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A new report shows when it comes to social cohesion, we're losing to our neighbours across the Tasman, and on course to look more like the US or UK.
The "she'll be right" attitude of Kiwis has taken a hit, with a major new report finding Australia outscores New Zealand on virtually every measure of social cohesion.
The report - commissioned by the Helen Clark Foundation and billed as one of the most comprehensive pictures yet of New Zealand's social cohesion - suggests that Kiwis are less happy than their Australian mates, have a lower sense of worth, and are less satisfied with their finances.
Report co-author Shamubeel Eaqub tells The Detail that "social cohesion in New Zealand is in a much worse state than Australia. On every dimension New Zealand is falling behind".
He says the new findings should be a "wake-up call" that New Zealand cannot be complacent over the polarisation seen in the UK (Brexit), US (Trump) and Europe (far-right groups).
"It feels far away, but is it really? The reason I ask that is we are seeing similar kinds of discontent appearing in New Zealand, and while we are not nearly as polarised as some of those communities, we are fractured.
"And to me, this is the transition from being cohesive to fractured to polarised. If we don't do something, if we don't act on the evidence in front of us, we will become similarly polarised.
"When that happens our politics will change quickly, our policies will change quickly and that will make it very difficult for businesses, communities, and for people to plan and live good lives.
"We need a society that works well, most of the time. We want conflict on the edges, not conflict that dominates every day."
He says social cohesion matters because "that's how we have connections, solidarity and trust. And that allows us to grapple with big changes".
"It's the glue that holds us together. And when there are things that are hard and difficult, we can still make those decisions and still like each other."
He says we need to follow the lead of Australians, who earn more and enjoy a happier, more cohesive society.
"I did think we would be at least as good as Australia, so the results did surprise me."
His report found that just a third of Kiwis are satisfied with their finances, compared with 60 percent of Australians.
Just 47 percent of Kiwis agreed with positive statements about social cohesion, compared with 55 percent of Australians.
Kiwis are also unhappier, with only 55 percent reporting feeling happy or very happy in the past year, compared to 78 percent of Australians.
And a quarter of New Zealanders reported sometimes or often going without meals, compared with 13 percent across the ditch.
"I couldn't believe it... it's absolutely shameful," Eaqub tells The Detail. "It's an extraordinary situation, when we are a proud country of food producers, how can we not feed our own people."
He says trust in government is relatively low, with just 42 percent of respondents agreeing that the Government acted in people's best interests most or all of the time. Views on the fairness of court decisions had a similar result.
He did note that Covid-19 played a role in changing the mood of the country. The fifth anniversary of the first lockdown was marked last month.
"In the beginning of Covid, there was an extraordinary rise in solidarity... followed by a collapse. And there's no doubt that what we are seeing in this survey is affected by that Covid experience. There are groups of people feeling raw and disaffected."
But he says there is a simple way to improve our social cohesion.
"To get better is really easy - let's converse and not convert."
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