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A funeral bill is one you never want to pay, but there's a push to make the whole ordeal cheaper and better.
Paying to bury (or cremate) the person who meant the most in the world to you is going to be fraught with resentment right from the start.
"It's a grudge purchase and also a grief purchase isn't it ... it's a purchase you don't want to make," says Gillian Boyes, the chief executive of the Funeral Directors Association.
An average funeral costs around $10,000, but it varies widely.
Those costs are in the spotlight with a government health committee report on "cremation costs and associated matters", after advocate group Death Without Debt made a push for a more affordable way of doing things.
Funeral directors also had their say in the briefing, along with the Ministry of Health, which agrees that the processes prescribed under legislation are outdated and disproportionate, and need modernisation.
The legislation dealing with burial and cremation rules dates back to Acts from 1964 and 1973, but work to update them has been going on for 15 years - and keeps getting pushed out.
Funeral directors say that is far too long.
"Look, we would love to see that review completed," says Boyes.
"There's some bits in the regulations that are just problematic now."
She was at a water burial recently which uses technology not dreamed about last century - it is not even a regulated disposal method because the rules have not been updated.
"They're doing some work right now on these... and that will tidy that up to an extent, but it is really frustrating that it's sat there for the best part of 15 years and hasn't been completed," says Boyes.
Death Without Debt has been holding meetings around the country giving people information about DIY burials, including what people can or can't do, and has been calling for simpler processes.
The Health Committee's report recommends the government's End of Life website makes it easier to find information on DIY funerals, and encourages the Health Ministry to make all documents relating to cremation available on the Death Documents website. It also says the current regulations impose high costs on the public and are a barrier for those who want to organise their own funerals.
But it stops short of setting changes in motion.
There is a lot of paperwork involved with death.
There must be either a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, or a coroner's authorisation. All cemetery burials must be registered. For a cremation there is a Medical Referee form that must be signed. And all deaths must be registered with the Department of Internal Affairs.
"There's some quite confusing looking forms," says Boyes.
"But they are all accessible to anyone, as long as you know how to step your way through them - and many people aren't very good at filling out forms."
She believes that concentrating on making sure everyone can download those forms is an easy fix for the government, but there are other more pressing solutions that are a bit more difficult.
One of those would be to increase the size of the burial benefit that people who really can't afford to pay for a funeral can access ... it currently sits at $2616.12, well below the average cost of a funeral.
Boyes would also like to see price transparency for funerals improved, so people know exactly what they are paying for.
Today on The Detail she goes step by step through a funeral director's bill and explains what it involves.
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