By Victoria Pengilley and Brianna Parkins, ABC News
Lilie James. Photo: Supplied/Facebook
Warning: This story contains content that readers may find distressing.
Wearing a hoodie, track pants and carrying a backpack, Lilie James' killer eyeballs a CCTV camera one last time.
Paul Thijssen had rehearsed what he was about to do hours earlier, pushing open the bathroom stall at the Sydney high school to test its weight, analysing various entry points.
He had even set up a "Cleaning in progress" sign so he could corner his target into a disabled bathroom stall.
He was meticulous, calculated and calm.
This was not a momentary loss of control, Thijssen knew what he was doing, counsel assisting Jennifer Single SC told a three-day coronial inquest into their deaths this week.
Minutes later, he stepped through the bathroom door and beat the "beautiful, independent, kind" 21-year-old water polo coach to death.
The inquest fell silent as the CCTV footage of these final moments were shown, with Single telling the court with a cracking voice: "No matter how many times you view that footage it's not easy to watch."
His final and only act of physical partner violence was a crescendo of a pattern of coercive control Thijssen had been exhibiting with women for years, according to the experts that gave evidence at the inquest.
The court released a frame of CCTV footage of Paul Thijssen moments before he killed Lilie James in the school bathroom. Photo: Supplied / Coroners Court of New South Wales
Weekend party 'a tipping point'
The inquest examining James's death at St Andrew's Cathedral School in 2023, heard she had tried to set boundaries with Thijssen the weekend before.
The pair had engaged in a brief relationship lasting just over a month, but the Dutch national had become obsessed, almost possessive, when the young woman tried to break it off.
The court heard a 21st birthday party became the "tipping point" for Thijssen, when he knew James was attending the same function as her ex-boyfriend, a man he "felt threatened' by.
He even co-opted a mutual friend to keep "an eye on" her.
From the outside, it was a classic case of coercive control - an attempt by an "emotionally abusive" man to control a woman who was no longer interested.
But as a domestic violence expert explained to the court, to James and Thijssen's friends, the behaviour was normalised as "coming from a place of kindness and love".
Over dinner friends reported seeing Thijssen appear agitated, constantly checking James's location via the map function on Snapchat, seeing if she was at the party.
Thijssen sat outside the party for over an hour until James came out and he dropped her home.
It wasn't just in social settings. In video footage released during the inquest, Thijssen is seen driving a rental car near her house on seven separate occasions.
Even going so far as photographing different cars parked outside her home and noting down which family member they belonged to.
Domestic violence expert Kate Fitz-Gibbon told the inquest his behaviour amounted to stalking and that he employed emotionally abusive and manipulative tactics.
"He no longer [had] any control," she said.
Noting Thijssen had earlier shown friends an intimate photo James had sent him, without her consent, in an attempt to "reassert control" and out of a "sense of sexual entitlement to her".
The inquest was told Thijssen had a "fragile sense of self", with forensic psychologist Kate Seidler saying he felt inadequate and unworthy: "He covered that up by projecting an image of perfection … of having it all together."
According to evidence, Thijssen had spun a web of lies around him including telling family and friends he had come to Australia to study a masters when no record of his enrolment could be found.
He forged documents to secure a visa and had embellished statements from his employer.
In the days before his death he had created a fake Snapchat account of a friend, claiming to James that he was being stalked by the woman.
Mental health experts said Thijssen "couldn't cope with how he was feeling" and he "neutralised the threat" by murdering the woman who did not want to see him anymore.
"We don't see clear signs of mental disorder … he formed a hatred of James because she had rejected him and punished her by killing her," forensic psychiatrist Dr Danny Sullivan told the court.
Thijssen remained in the bathroom with James's body for over an hour, which was beaten beyond the point of recognition by over 25 hammer blows. An act Single described as "overkill".
He sent texts from James's phone asking her father to come to the school, pretending to be her, which Single said caused the family to "suffer as they desperately tried to get in touch with her."
About three hours after her death, at 11.45pm, Thijssen called triple-0 to report a body at the school.
He can barely be heard as he talks to the operator, meekly telling them where James's body was, but avoiding going into detail.
"I think someone should just go in there before people arrive in the morning. Thank you," he adds.
Moments later he jumped or fell to his death at Diamond Bay Reserve in Vaucluse, with police arriving three minutes after he was last captured on CCTV.
Lilie James. Photo: Supplied/Facebook
'We could be setting our daughters up for failure'
In a heartbreaking tribute, James' parents paid tribute to their "sweet pea".
"If we are not teaching our sons how to respect and value women's opinions … and how to accept rejection," James's mother Peta James told the court.
"We could be setting our daughters up for failure."
The court heard Thijssen had displayed a pattern of coercive control with a previous Australian partner. He asked her to share her iPhone location and would "blow up" if she turned it off.
The woman's parents became concerned about his behaviour, particularly his tendency to get upset if she didn't answer her phone straight away.
The court heard he had on one occasion waited outside her work for hours until she finished.
Thijssen even flew to Australia days after the woman blocked him from social media and stopped sharing her location with him.
When she informed him she didn't want to see him anymore, the court heard he punched a tree close to her head. After turning up at her family home uninvited, her father threatened to call the police.
Domestic violence experts used the inquest to call for better education to raise awareness amongst young people that obsessive, controlling behaviour could indicate an unhealthy relationship.
Professor Fitz-Gibbon recommended further work to "make sure young people understood the risks associated with sharing your location."
"Sharing your location with someone at one point in a relationship" might be a "good thing" but it may not be a "safe decision" at another point, she said.
Peta James held hands with her husband as they told the court about how their family was robbed of a future with their daughter.
"I promise you one thing my beautiful girl, we will forever love you and never forget you," Peta James said.
- ABC News
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