An earlier version of this story said that Vasa Fia Collins spoke to the media for the first time since Fa'anānā Efeso Collins' passing. This was incorrect, and we have removed that reference and updated the story accordingly.
A year after the sudden passing of Auckland politician Fa'anānā Efeso Collins, his widow Vasa Fia Collins has opened up about the heartbreak of losing him, the struggles of grief, and the powerful legacy he left behind.
In an exclusive interview with RNZ Pacific, Vasa reflected on the pain of navigating life without him, the challenges of raising their two daughters alone, and the media's handling of his death, which she says left her deeply hurt.
Collins' death on 21 February last year came as a shock to many, but for Vasa and their two young daughters, it has left an unfillable void.
"We miss Efeso every day," she shares.
"It's hard at home because he had such a presence about him.
"Waking up in the morning and not hearing his voice, not hearing him sing and dance - it's like our whole world changed in the blink of an eye."
For his daughters, aged three and 11 at the time, the loss has been profound.
"My youngest doesn't cry for him anymore, but she does still call out for him in the morning. My eldest, she's my rock. She's stepped up so much. She cooks, cleans, and looks after her little sister. But I know it's been so hard on her."
Their family home holds deep meaning - it was once the headquarters for Collins' Auckland mayoral campaign before becoming their safe haven. And in his final year, Collins was a full-time stay-at-home dad, a role he fully embraced.
"If you ask my daughters, they'd rather have him at home than me," Vasa said with a bittersweet laugh.
"He was so present, so involved with them. He covered all the bases - school, sports, everything. We had no idea that would be his final year, but looking back, it was a blessing."
Photo: RNZ/Nick Monro
'I was the last to know'
While Collins' sudden death shocked the nation, Vasa was left devastated by the way she found out. News of his passing broke publicly before she was informed.
"I found it cruel, unkind, and quite unethical," she said. "I was working and had my phone off - Efeso and I always did that when presenting. By the time I saw the news, he had been gone for 40 minutes. That still haunts me."
She knows exactly who broke the story and which media organisation published it first. While she isn't ready to confront them yet, she says there will come a time for that conversation.
"I want to know why they thought it was okay to do that to us. My daughters lost their father. I should have been told first, not the rest of the country."
The struggles of grief
Losing Collins has forced Vasa to become both mother and father to their daughters-something she describes as one of the hardest challenges she has ever faced.
"It's been tough, not just financially, but emotionally too," she admitted. "Efeso was my person. He was my safe space. And now I'm left trying to figure everything out on my own."
But despite the grief, she remains committed to keeping his memory alive for their daughters.
"They still talk about him like he's here, and I love that. They'll say, 'Dad would have said this' or 'Dad would have done that,' and it's comforting because it means he's still a part of their world."
'Will you carry on his legacy?'
Since Collins' passing, many have asked if Vasa will follow in his political footsteps.
"If you're asking politically, I don't know," she admitted. "Politics is difficult, and we've faced death threats before. I'm not sure I have the temperament for it."
However, she remains deeply invested in community work and leadership development, something Collins was passionate about.
"Efeso was never about himself - he was about making space for others. I want to carry that on. I want to help mentor young leaders and get behind them the way he did."
She highlighted young Pacific leaders like Teo Harry Toleafoa, Apulu Reece Autagavaia and some of Collins' former mentees who are now stepping into leadership roles.
"I believe in them. I want to see more young people, especially Pacific youth, stepping up. Politics can be hard, but when we have our people in decision-making spaces, it's transformational."
'The hardest part was watching him get shut out'
Looking back on Collins' career, Vasa admits that the hardest part was seeing how often he was rejected, despite his talent and passion.
"There were people who saw him as a threat and actively worked against him," she revealed. "Some of the same people who later spoke about how much they loved him were the ones who shut him down when he was alive."
His mayoral campaign was particularly painful. Vasa recalled being advised not to attend certain public meetings due to the hostility Collins faced.
"He would come home after being heckled and abused but never told me about it. He wanted to protect me. But I saw how strong he was, how he never let it shake his belief that he was doing what he was called to do."
Photo: RNZ / Samuel Rillstone
The toll on Pacific leaders
Collins' death has sparked wider conversations about the pressure Pacific leaders face in politics, especially those who challenge the status quo.
Vasa pointed to the abuse directed at Pacific MPs, such as Carmel Sepuloni and Barbara Edmonds, as well as the struggles Collins endured.
"It's exhausting to see our leaders constantly fighting just to be heard. Efeso was always smiling, always giving his best, but I saw the weight he carried."
She also noted that many Pacific leaders leave politics broken, often without the support or recognition they deserve.
"We need to take better care of our people. They give so much, but what do they get in return?" she asked.
'The media needs to do better'
Collins' passing also raised concerns about the ethics of news reporting and social media. From immediate news reports to viral videos of fatalities, Vasa says more consideration is needed for grieving families.
"We need to talk about this in our communities," she urged. "It's about dignity. People need to think about the harm they cause by rushing to share or film tragedies."
One year on, the grief is still raw. But through the pain, Vasa and her daughters continue to find strength in their memories, their faith, and their community.
"My daughters and I will always miss him," she said.
"But we were blessed to have had him, even for the short time we did."
As for Collins' legacy, Vasa says it will live on - not just through his family, but through every young leader he inspired.
